For the past two years I have been walking through what I call a "mid-life spiritual crisis." I did not recognize it as a "crisis" (a crucial stage or turning point in the course of something, Wordnet) until only a couple of months ago but, in retrospect, can trace its beginnings roughly to the 2008 US presidential election season. The major themes that resonated with me during that season were improving the health care system and expanding coverage, ending the war in Iraq, and dramatically changing our domestic energy policy in an effort to reduce our contribution to greenhouse gas emissions. My support of these policies was shared by many Americans but not, unfortunately, by many of my church friends and acquaintances. While opinions certainly varied, many thought that a proposal to expand health-care coverage was really a government takeover in disguise, that the war in Iraq was God-willed, and that global warming was a farce. Many other folks simply preferred to not share their opinion or perhaps felt that the issues were too complex to take a particular position.
For all of my Christian walk I have considered myself evangelical but not fundamentalist. In other words, I believe that the Bible reveals God's truth and is sacred, but I do not hold that every word in the Holy Book is sacred truth. This is especially true with writings in the Old Testament such as the creation stories (Genesis 1 and Genesis 2), the story of the fall of mankind (Genesis 3), the entire book of Job, and a fair number of seemingly legendary accounts in the historical books. As a scientist who has studied molecular biology both academically and as an analyst in a major cancer research center, I am familiar with the mountain of evidence that supports the proposition that all physical life as we know it evolved from a common life form which, itself, was the result of pre-biotic evolution. However, I am also aware that science as we know it pre-supposes a strictly material universe and is of little or no use for exploring topics, such as faith, that transcend nature.
I will discuss in other writings the profound experience that led to me to dedicate my heart to serving Jesus Christ. The most important point I wish to emphasize is that my faith in Christ as Lord and Savior is fixed and unshakable as it has been confirmed by such an overwhelming act of grace -- by Christ's life, death, and resurrection I have been transformed from a life devoid of hope to one of intense and lasting joy. I am alive and living an abundant life because God's truth about sin and His loving desire to free the sinner and bring him/her into a new life in Christ. As awesome as this salvation is for me personally, I would also desire to grow in my understanding of God's will on contemporary issues that face us daily. When I go into a voting booth what should be my stand on health-care and war? What should I teach my children about sex outside of marriage? Is abortion ever justifiable? Should I agree as a scientist with the popular proposal that embryonic stem cell research is good? Is same-sex marriage moral?
Seeking solid Christian teaching answers to these questions and others is good because, by doing so, I am seeking to develop my conscious so that I can better discern right from wrong, the true from the false. Moreover, seeking Christian answers to these questions is my responsibility as a father, husband, and the spiritual head of our home. I have probably sat through over 500 church services in the past 12 years and I do not ever recall hearing solid biblical teaching on most of the questions mentioned above. This may be entirely appropriate since our focus as a congregations should be on glorifying the author and founder of our faith and the Bible is clear that we should avoid divisive arguments. However, what about other Christian venues such as retreats or book studies?
In general, evangelical book studies are focused on understanding spiritual truths from the Bible. This is a wonderful thing and I have done some excellent studies such as "Experiencing God" and "The Purpose Driven Life." However, these spiritual resources generally do not provide specific answers about the major questions facing our society today. Their focus tends to be on improving the personal experience of salvation. Retreats are similar. The one men's retreat that I went to that had a discussion of science and morality had, as a guest speaker, the director of the "Discovery Institute"; one of the leading organizations promoting Intelligent Design. While I have respect for the sincere motives of this organization, their stance on evolution fails to account for pre-biotic forces at work on Earth and potential pre-cursors to cellular life such as systems of self-replicating amino acids or RNA. In my opinion, their group is emblematic of the organizations that apply fundamentalist views of the Bible to scientific topics -- such groups resist truths about the natural world that have been uncovered by sincere scientific endeavor because they worship the Book as much, or more than, the Word.
Is there anyone who understands scientific truth (truth about the material world) for what it is but can also teach me the implications of Christian revealed truth. Can anyone speak authoritatively about Christianity in this day and age of relative truth? My "mid-life crisis of faith" has been a search for such a teacher who can help me mature in matters of Christian faith in the modern world. To my surprise, I have found such a teacher in the Catholic church, and especially certain writings of Pope Benedict XVI both as Pope and as Cardinal Ratzinger. For example, reading Dignitas Personae and the Declaration on the Production and the Scientific and Therapeutic Use of Human Embryonic Stem Cells convinced me of the value of human life from conception to natural death and the evils of human embryonic stem cell research. Moreover, I found from recent search for teachings on the same topics on the official United Methodist, Presbyterian, and Vineyard websites that these groups either have no teaching on the topic or are completely unwilling to offend anyone by holding a teaching that is Biblically-founded. I found the same to be especially true on the topic of same-sex marriage.
How ironic that that same church that consigned Galileo to home imprisonment is now the only source I have found for well-reasoned, Christ-centered, witness on contemporary moral issues -- especially those involving science! How peculiar that this same church promotes exactly the positions that resonated so strongly with me in the 2008 election while taking a clear standing against the political and theological forms of liberalism that are currently undermining family and faith in America today. Moreover, I have learned from continued study on the church's history how little I really knew about the heritage we Christians have going back to the church of Acts. Catholic teaching has helped me to understand how the Bible can be both the inspired source of God's revealed truth while containing elements that should neither be taken literally nor thought of as divine intention. None of this completely resolves my "crisis"; I have not decided to convert to Catholicism -- I am holding such a dramatic decision out until I study the Reformation more thoroughly. However, I am grateful that in the midst of my "crisis" I am continuing to grow in my Christian faith.
Since we have the obligation to obey our conscience, we also have the great responsibility to see that it is formed in a way that reflect the true moral good - United Stated Catholic Catechism for Adults, 2006
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